In memory of my dearest friend Sidney

I am standing here because Sidney was my friend; as he was to many of you. He had the warmth and empathy to make each of us feel that he was our special friend. Sidney, our dearest friend, basked in the warmth of the relationships that he nurtured with his many friends and acquaintances and above all with his close and loving family. He and I used to talk often on many and varied subjects, of our hopes and fears, our ambitions and our failures, of what was really important to us and what truly baffled us. One theme we kept returning to over and over again was family and how the warm love within it, which Sidney worked his hardest to nurture in his own family, created a safe refuge for all who belonged, against the harsh, cold world that lay outside - a legacy that remains strong without him. He frequently spoke of his relationship with you, Cathryn. That it was mercurial there is little doubt but there is also no doubt that you were the centre of his world and that he loved you very deeply. He'd often have that little smile of his and twinkle in his eye as he spoke of the latest spat, yet he knew that underneath it all his love was reciprocated in more than full measure.

Sidney and I were close friends for only 30 years. Had it been twice that time it would not have been long enough. The fact that we were friends is remarkable for, according to Sidney, I am opinionated, arrogant, selfish, argumentative, rude and singularly blind to the feelings of other people. Fortunately, Sidney shared a number of these qualities, but he was much more cognisant of the feelings of others. As he once said to me ‘a man with a bruised ego is a man determined to get even’. Sidney, as Katy said earlier, was a wise man.

Above all Sidney liked ideas - anybody’s ideas - although he knew his own were generally far superior. So he never dismissed any concept put to him. Rather, he’d always probe and dissect, if only to satisfy himself that it didn’t hold water and that he knew better.

Sidney had two remarkable qualities which I will always treasure and admire. First, if you could convince him, he didn’t mind admitting he was wrong, although at times he took an awful lot of convincing. Second, Sidney was a doer, not just a talker like most people. He was a builder - an action man, although not fleet of foot. In life many people say they will do things just to keep you happy, but never do them. If Sidney said that he would do something then you could consider it done, and done well. Once he and I had a bad argument because I asked him to do something, which I felt was very easy for him to do, and he refused. I became angry and I sulked. ‘Alan’, he said to me, ‘would you rather I said yes and then not do it? If I did, that would break the trust that is the bedrock of our friendship’. Sidney was a wise man.

Sidney my friend, you are still my friend and you will be to the day I die and when I lie awake in the deep, dark, dead of night I’ll remember the things we did and the things we said, and Sidney, my friend I will smile...