Arthur Fiber (Avraham ben Yosef)
“The days of our years are threescore years and ten, or even by reason of strength, fourscore years (Ps 90:10).”
Arthur received a sound start in life from loving parents in Cricklewood. Being a milliner and working in the clothing business, better known as the rag trade, they perhaps influenced Arthur’s sense of attire, described by Miriam as “old-school dapper:” always colour-coordinated, questionable pattern matching, a penchant for quality socks but always, from your earliest memories through to your last, a dapper, handsome, groomed gentleman.
Arthur attended Haberdashers and through this received a good formal education and a social group that continued to develop through Regent St Polytechnic (now the University of Westminster). Arthur and his mates were evacuated to Minehead during the war and that town became the focal point for annual reunions of the ‘Poly Boys,’ sometimes also attended by Sally. Indeed, they were both in attendance at the 70th Anniversary Dinner marking the evacuation of the Poly Boys on 1st September 2009. You can see an ever dapper Arthur Fiber in white jacket, contrasting black shirt and trousers on their website, www.polyboys.org.uk!
Arthur trained as a rubber technologist and worked for a number of small companies, Firestone and then Du Pont for whom he worked for 34 years, rising to be Regional Manager for Northern Europe in Engineering Plastics.
These are the facts but what of the essence of the man. Arthur was a man of great integrity and love. He had a strong sense of what was right and wrong and would communicate this with simple, direct words. At family parties, he would bring people to tears with his simple expression of his love for everyone, that “he was the happiest man alive and that everything was wonderful..wonderful.”
Arthur was a fantastic friend. He could be counted on for forthright comment and advice and to be there when it mattered. Finding his childhood nanny, alone in her later years, she was invited over Christmas and Arthur managed everything for her funeral. He was there to celebrate life over bridge, a round of golf or dinner and was most especially there at the difficult times of life, always supporting friends in mourning. Arthur was also a great pal. Thursdays were the only days that he was unavailable for Miriam, Jon and families. These were days for catching-up with pals, enjoying a gallery or a show.
But for 6 days of the week, family meant everything to Arthur! Working for Du Pont provided opportunities for family adventures to be tagged on to meetings in Geneva. The hotel in Gleneagles just had to be tested out before being used to host colleagues and customers and when others were invited, things were so organised that families were welcomed.
Looking out for others continued upon retirement. Invited to be an Industrial Fellow at Habs to encourage high-flyers to consider industry as well as the attractions of the City, this seeded Arthur’s involvement with the Young Enterprise Scheme for Watford that he supported for over 20 years. Through the League of Jewish Women, Sally put Arthur in contact with Hillingdon Association of Voluntary Services for whom he established a mediation service for Council Tenants, being their first chairman and working for them through to last year.
But the family never lacked for attention. Miriam and Jon always had their walking encyclopaedia there for homework, not telling them the answer but saying, “let’s work it out.” Treats for Miriam getting up at 5:30am every Sunday morning to caddy at RAC Surrey and keep the treat of the coke and a crunchie before lunch a secret from Sally. Concern for Jon and his work - how he would ever make a living - but more quietly kvelling in his son’s creativity. Jon and Miriam, you have been fantastic children for Arthur and this last year has allowed you to appreciate your father, to learn from him, and to love him even more. You provided him with the gifts of Marc and Olivia, and of 6 grandchildren on whom he doted. You all provided Arthur with such an incredible last 24 hours of his life. It was truly wonderful, a moment deserving of his final speech to you all. May the photo of that moment always remain with you as a source of happiness for Arthur’s life.
Sally. What can I truly say to capture a love as deep as you and Arthur shared. Arthur was your husband, house-partner and carer. From the moment he appreciated fully who you were, he gave his life to being there for you, being your absolute everything. Arthur allowed you to flourish, to live life and to fulfil so many dreams. He was your bedrock.
Travelling on a world tour included time with Jon in Sydney. Everything meticulously planned to insure everything was accessible for you. The Orient Express with Sally’s parents, the Bolshoi Express. Everything just so. And when Arthur recognised how ill he was, the planning went on. Time to educate Sally for life into the future, to get money out from the wall, to plan and care for you, to love you even he died.
“The days of our years are threescore years and ten, or even by reason of strength, fourscore years (Ps 90:10).”
The Psalmist acknowledges that to some, this may not seem long enough and that indeed some of our days may not be enjoyable. Therefore we are urged to value its quality: “So teach us to number our days, that we may acquire a heart of wisdom.” And thus the Psalmist prays: “Satisfy us at daybreak with Your steadfast love that we may sing for joy all our days…May the favour of the Eternal One, our God, be upon us; let the work of our hands prosper, O prosper the work of our hands.”
Being a Rabbi, I must do something with the doubling of that last phrase. Arthur Fiber prospered with the work of his hands during his time on this earth, so that you, his family and friends, would prosper with the work of your hands into the future: his legacy.
Amen.
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